Pledge to America

My fellow Americans, I have a pledge to you.

If elected, I will eat nachos.

See, I know that America has become cynical and paranoid because of presidents like Nixon and Bush who have ushered in a new era of general distrust for the government. Now, I have just made a promise to you that I KNOW I can keep.

Here's another: If elected, I will be America's most recent president.

As is readily apparent, I am two steps ahead of all other politicians. Ball's in your court, Gingrich.

Me 2012!

Well, I guess I should explain.

I'm running for president. This site is called a PAC, where I can collect funds and give announcements about my presidential run. This is huge.

Now, I'm 43. I'm saying that so I can run for president. And as far as everyone knows, I am. My idea is to install a puppet regime (my dad) and wield all the true power.

Why did I tell you that?

ME 2012!

I don't have much to say. Hmm. How about this.

Everyone else running sucks.

Give me money.

BYE!